IDEA - Gather all the things that made your loved one unique. At the entrance to the service, have the items displayed on a large table. Place items reflecting their hobbies or interests, perhaps a bowl with their favorite candy or treat, and friends and family can help themselves. You may want to take 3x5 cards and label the items and explain the significance.

Why Should I Have a Service at All?
Memorial services and life celebrations are really about love. You are taking the time and expressing and sharing the love that you felt for that person. It's important to celebrate but not at the expense of acknowledging that something important has been lost. The best services mix memories, comfort and encouragment. You need to take this time to share your loss, to laugh and talk and share your thoughts and feelings with each other.

How Can I have Family and Friends Share Their Memories?

NOTECARDS:
You only have one chance to collect everyone’s memories. Consider lined 3” x 5” cards that say, “My Special Memory of You ” These cards and pens are handed to friends and family as they walk into the service. The celebrant or funeral director can be responsible for handing them out and collecting them at the end of the service. These cards can be put in a pouch and taken out and shared at family gatherings for years to come. They become a reflection of ancestors' lives for generations to come.
They are also available for purchase at http://www.nextgenmemorials.com/memorial.html


Guest books are not very practical as they require people to wait in line at the service. Unless feelings and memories are shared, what is the long term use of a guest book? If feelings and memories are shared, the wait could become very long and delay the service.

You may want to consider a memory book/guest book/photo album combination that is ideal for capturing the essence of the person- their passions, hobbies, interests, accomplishments and family history. You'll want to make completing the book a family activity... encourage children, grandchildren and all family members to partcipate. It will be therapeutic and rewarding; collecting photos, memory cards, notes and letters. Share friends and family's personal memories by inserting the "My Special Memory of You" cards into the book. Additionally, the book can be used as a guest book at the life celebration. This book will be treasured for generations to come. You can find the books here.

LETTERS:
Many grief counselors recommend letter writing as a way to begin to work through the grief process. It's becoming more popular for the host of the memorial service/life celebration to suggest attendees bring a letter to the departed. By writing their thoughts they will often feel like they have been able to document how they are feeling while contributing to the service. The letters are commonly placed in the casket (some caskets now have drawers especially for this purpose) and if the person is cremated the letters are included placed inside the urn.

FLOWERS:
We know it's traditonal to send flowers for a funeral as an expression of sympathy, consider asking attendees to the service to bring a flower as a tribute to your lost loved one. The flowers can be placed into a wreath and either placed on the casket or if the person is cremated and the remains are scattered, you could put the wreath out to sea along with the ashes. The flowered wreath will gently float away.

You can purchase a straw or styrofoam wreath form at any craft store such as Michaels. See samples below.

What Can I Put on a Memory Table?
Create a table and bring in things that your loved one liked to do. For example, if they liked to paint, bring in their artwork, their paints and brushes and smock. You could even bring in their easels and put the artwork on their easels. If they were gardeners you could bring in their gardening tools and pots of flowers. If they liked football you could bring any logo memorabilia of the team that they supported that you or they may have. If they liked photography, set their favorite cameras on the table with some of their photographs. You may want to write on a notecard, “Sarah always found time to craft the perfect photo and then share them with us.” “Look at Sarah's hole in one on hole 7.” If they liked golf bring in the clubs, tees, scorecards and golf balls.

Dave Daly's hobby was carving wood, on his memorial table his tools and works of art were on display. As you can see by his memorial table he was also in the service and enjoyed woodcarving.


A memory table of a golf lover

Consider putting pocket charms on the table that reflect your loved one. Guests are encouraged to take one, they will put them on their pocket or purse and when they run across it they will remember the departed.

Find pocket charms here.

You may also want to consider personalized seeded cards that contain wildflowers. The cards can be placed on the memory table and friends and family can take them and keep the card as a keepsake and plant the seeds.

Find Platable Seed Cards here.

Here is what a customer said about the cards,
"I just wanted to let you know-we had my mom's memorial service/celebration of life Sept 2 at HoChunk Casino/Convention Center in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin (one of mom's favorite places :-) I placed a dollar casino token and one of the wildflower seed inscribed heart cards that I ordered from you at each place setting at the tables. People commented and really thought they were great. Thanks for offering such a wonderful website-you were a godsend at a really difficult time." Kimberly T.

Name Tags

One of our customers named Linda Lee provided everyone with name tags when they walked in. Her mother was 85 years old and most of her friends were about the same age and many were suffering from memory loss. She didn't want her mother's friends to be embarrassed for not remembering names of people they hadn't seen in years. Her mother's favorite color was pink so she got plain white labels from the office supply store and put a pink border on them using the computer. The pink bordered tags were then given to a couple close friends who sat at the front on the reception area at a table writing out name tags. The tags not only said the person's name but the relationship to her mother. For example, Esther Hodges (High School Friend, Class of 1938). It's rare that everyone knows each other at a service. If everyone has a name tag that says not only the person's name but the relation to the deceased it makes the service much more personal as well as helps the guests to make conversation.

Create a Collage

Here is a creative idea, create a collage that captures your love one. Look what Laura did, using snapshots of knickknacks from her grandfather's garage. Using vintage hardware leftovers and the setting sun, she put together a very cool and unique tribute to her grandfather.

This could be incorporated in a folder to be handed out at the service and perhaps on thank-you notes that you could have printed to thank all those who lend support, send flowers and donations to charity. Go to www.kodakgallery.com to create a collage.

What Else Can I do at the Celebration?

You may want to read the article "Remembering Rachel" about the unique things Rachel's family and friends did to remember the wonderful life she had shared click here

Consider a balloon release. Family and friends could write a note on the balloon. You can find balloons at many grocery stores or in the Yellow Pages.

In order to keep a balloon release environmentally safe:

- Don't tie anything to balloons which are being released, instead write messages directly on the balloons with a felt tip pen.

- Only use biodegradable balloons- FYI latex is naturally occuring material made from tree sap.

- Always use fully inflated balloons, release shortly after filling.

Also, dove releases and butterfly releases are becoming more popular. To learn about butterfly releases, go to http://www.renaissancebutterflies.com or http://www.abutterflyrelease.com/



For dove release information check out these sites:
LA and Orange (Southern California) www.whitedoverelease.com.
Portland, Oregon and SW Washington www.ceremonydove.com
Connecticut www.BirdsInWhite.com
Grand Junction, Colorado area www.bettysdoves.com

You may also have families and friends light a candle. You could have a procession and put the candles around the casket or urn. Candles can then be given to families and friends as keepsakes at the end of the ceremony. You may also want to consider a candle and bud vase that can be inscribed with your loved ones name. Every year, on significant dates you can place fresh flowers in the vase and light the candle.

Click here to see candles and bud vases

Julie from Gautier, MS suggested the following; On your loved ones birthday write them a letter, tie it to a hellium balloon and let it go outside so it reaches them in heaven.

Have you found these ideas helpful? Check out this book with everything you need to create a personalized memorial service. It is only $9.95 and will ship the same day it is ordered for quick delivery.

© Mary Hickey All Rights Reserved

You can find poems, sayings and lyrics here.

For samples of eulogies click here.

If you're looking for interesting memorial products to personalize a life celebration click here.

We welcome your ideas and suggestions, please email them to us at info@nextgenmemorials.com.